Where am I going...

For some reason I feel blah this week... I have no idea why. It's not even like I am starting my period or anything... which is usually the number one reason for the blues. I just am feeling directionless. I feel like I need to be out there networking more, meeting people, etc. But, I just don't have it in me. It's almost as if I am scared of the failure. If my labor doesn't produce any fruit all my work would be in vain. Where has my passion and zest gone to?

I suppose that is something fleeting, something that comes and goes now and again. Also, if this was easy everyone would be doing it. Even though sometimes it feels like everyone is doing it. The greats never stopped though. They didn't give up and they didn't give into the norm. They didn't pick up all their stuff and move to Revolutionary road.

So I suppose I will get off my computer and go make something happen... anything...

Frieda

It's really funny the things you remember about your childhood. Like... smells, outfits you wore to a birthday party, crushes and memories. I wish I could bottle them up in a jar and keep them on my bookshelf to remember or at least have the discipline to write them down.

For the past week I keep coming back to this one particular memory. My great-grandmother Frieda Biedenwig. She was actually my step grandmother and I never met her. My grandmother's mother passed when she was relatively young and my grandfather re-married Frieda. I met him a few times throughout my life, those memories are for another time...

But her. She wrote us letters and always called us on our birthday's. When I say us, my grandmother has four children and between them there are eight grandchildren. Admittedly as I got older I dreaded the call. I never met this woman, I never knew what to say and she spoke in such a thick German accent I could hardly understand her.

But she called each one of us, every year. She remembered.

Maybe it's because she liked birthday's or maybe it's because she really loved my great-grandfather. I guess I will never know, but I wish I did.

Feeling Blessed...

We just got back from a weekend in California visiting our wonderful friend Yuan. Yuan is like family to us, just like family. He has seen us both at our best and our worst, nothing is sugar coated, nothing is hidden... we just have a real friendship. His company is always a delight and I know he would walk through fire for us.

Friends like Yuan are hard to come by.

We had such a great time soaking up our surroundings. Walking around Stamford, taking in a Giant's game, running into my old sorority sister's, sipping wine in Sonoma and capturing coast by Santa Cruz and just good company. Somedays I wonder if I am living someone else's life. Who decided that I would be so blessed.

Thanks Yuan for being you, for the laugh's and the car sick adventures...

Keeping the beat...

For the longest time I didn't fit in. I hadn't found that thing that I was really good at (not saying that I have now, but maybe closer than I ever have been.) I had read about this magical place where people live and dream and work in a place where the worlds greatest needs meet their talents etc. etc. But, for so so so many years I was lost.

I wasn't really good at anything, except connecting with people I suppose. I have been thinking about this a lot lately and how many stupid things I have done, tried and or failed at. One silly thing came to my mind... Mrs. Hinrichs 7th or 8th grade band lessons. I played the Saxophone (or tried) just like my dad did. During a practice at school we were having small group lessons and I was tapping my toes along with music and Mrs. Hinrichs said I wasn't keeping up with beat. My toe wasn't tapping with the music! She told me she had never seen any student do this - tap their toes against the beat... I guess that is what you would call it.

This just made me laugh and made my heart thankful that at least now I can keep up with the beat....

Branding/Blogging and watermelons...

You can see that I'm still not getting my fancy new blog anytime soon, right?! I was at a conference this past week and one of my fellow photographer friends said that she consistently blogs everyday and how much of an effect it has had on the traffic of her blog. I so agree! The blogs that I follow are defiantly ones that post nearly everyday. Something I look forward to checking out because there is fresh new stuff to sift through... so still... the internet waits for me:-)

To branding...

Throughout the years... okay that sounds like I have been in the industry for years... ( it's been like three) that I have worked in the photography industry I have had the importance of branding ingrained in my head. Branding "you." Making your business not only about pretty pictures you take and hopefully sell, but about the person you are and what makes you different, special, unique. And how that important fact will set you apart from the competition.

I have thought about this long and hard and how I can make myself stand out. Maybe taking different types of photos, marketing to a niche group of people, shooting film (okay well not shooting film, but it's a nice thought) and even photographing pets! I don't have any magical ideas but a strange comparison really resonated with me this past weekend. It's something that my dad was talking about... A little back story... my dad is a farmer. He grows corn, beans, wheat and watermelon (our family's claim to fame.) For years people have come to our farm that is tucked into the middle of nowhere to purchase these melons, I would guess that some have come from a 3 - 4 hour radius and maybe even farther.

Sometimes this gets taxing on my parents. I asked my dad why he doesn't just hire someone to do all the sales. He his reply was, "because they want to see me." Wow! I have realized the success of my dad's operation all these years isn't necessarily the watermelons, though they really are fantastic, but him. It's my dad. It's his willingness to grow a good crop, provide excellent customer service and sit and talk to people for at least two hours that sometimes only spend $10.

The heart of the business isn't the melons but my dad. His incredible ability to connect with people, remember their names, details about their lives, and even make them laugh, has had people coming back for years.

I hope someday that people will be coming back to me not only for my pretty pictures but because they like me. They like my customer service, my ability to connect with them and just because I care. The market is saturated with photographers, even very talented photographers. I don't know how I will do it... maybe just like my dad? The connector that he is. Time will tell, I still have a few years to catch up to the amount of time he has been working in the people business.

For now... thanks dad for being a great example on how to run a successful business and most importantly connect with people.

Still..

I still haven't mastered blogging, so I suppose that means I can't quite drop the 3 grand I would love to invest in a really smashing custom blog. But, that is okay. It seems like I have been the type to think, "once I have this really sweet new toy, computer, the best of..." whatever it is I will be consistent, #1 or whatever in that particular regard. When I went to college my mom took me to Omaha to the Gateway computer store and I remember her spending $3000 on my computer. Yes! $3000... that is why I am such a good sales person, she should have known this when I was a child and I convinced her to make me an ice cream cone Halloween costume... that's for an entirely other post! Anyway, about the computer. I'm not a student and that $3000 computer was just a headache and took up way to much space in my dorm room where I totally could have fit more clothes. So, all in all... the blog will have to wait until I am more consistent.

Something inspired me to write today. A video that J* posted, one of my most favorite photographers. Not for her images, but for who she is and how she has shaped my business and my life. I could watch her intro video 1 thousand times. One day I will have one. Watching it reminded me of my failure, where I have come and where I am going. I am so thankful for this place... this road that seems to be traveling upward. I have failed far, far, far more that I have succeeded, but that just makes the successes that much more delicious.

The me I want to be... again...

Since starting my own business in January a million things have ran through my mind... how do I price myself? Am I too high or too low? What do I want to photograph? Who do I want to photograph and will anyone want me to photograph them?! A realization came to me today.... of what I want out of this and where I want it to go. Often I could see myself on a stage teaching other photographers or desiring that life... being big time! Do we all? But, that is just seeking fame and affirmation from the masses and do I really need that or could I even attain it. What I mostly want to do is create beautiful images of inspiring people... Maybe I have a tag line here?! Darcy Demmel Photography, "Beautiful images of inspiring people" or "Inspiring images of beautiful people." Oh and I would really like to travel too.

I really want a blog....

I really want a cool blog... like one that you pay for and someone designs for you that is just really rad. However, I am not good about writing on them. I am going to give myself a test though and if I can keep up on posting on a blog then I am going to consider getting one designed for myself...